Friday, June 28, 2013

Living for Change...My Clouded Perspective

 I  sometimes  often  forget how blessed I am.

Making plans and setting goals can be good. It's healthy to look at areas of life and think of how they can be better. Most people have goals that are a combination of outward circumstances and those of personal growth.

I have some of both. There are things in my home that I want to update: painting, curtains, flooring, d├ęcor. Relationships are always under "construction" and my-oh-my do I have a list of things that I could  work on.

These are all ok things as long as the they don't become my hyper- focus and cause me to lose my perspective in a big way. This challenges me to my core.

I had written before that travelling makes me pensive. It also causes me to re-evaluate. Is there something that you do that brings that deep-reflective thought? And then the thoughts bump into each other and stir everything up until you know that you just have to sort it out? And that brings you to place of real change in your heart and life. I hope so. At least if you need it.

I desperately need it.

When I left on my trip, I was pretty dis-satisfied with what I was accomplishing and the rate at which I was moving forward. My desire for change had clouded my perspective of what was already in place and all that had been accomplished. My reality was distorted. What needs to be done is far less than I had thought. And the pressure to get it done now was unreasonable and unhealthy. Too much of my self-worth has been in relation to what I can accomplish and how well.

My life really is wonderful and so blessed. My home is beautiful though not perfect. I am working on some business ventures which are exciting and though moving slowly, continue to move. I have many wonderful relationships, a fun, fulfilling, strong marriage and my health is good. WOW! Why do I have to work so hard to remember these things? I have some theories for another time.

I am so thankful that God uses people and circumstances to push back the clouds that block the light and truth from my heart and mind.

I have a sweet friend who lives in Ohio. Her house is enormous. She has two gardens plus multiple flower beds. There are a few acres to mow and she works. None of these things are perfect but they are kept attractive and pleasant and she always has time to visit when I stop by. She seems to have such peace. It's so calming, inspiring. It gave me hope. I have often found myself wishing I were more like that. {I was thinking today that I need to write her a note and tell her so.}

The pressure to get it done and to keep up with it all has passed. I pray it lasts. It will be something that I will have to keep a check on. The peace and freedom that I now have to enjoy doing the next thing is very real. The reality I now understand is that it's ok to have things in progress. And the process can be very enjoyable. Relax. It will get done. And in the meantime there is so much more
to life! After many reminders, the fact that things take time is beginning to stick. Building anything takes time. Possibly years.

One reason that I knew that things had to be different was that all this pressure was affecting my health. I knew I had to change. Stress can be a good thing because it can motivate us to change the things that rob us of quality of life.

I will be talking more about these things in the future. It's been a big part of my life and I believe that
we can help each other to overcome these bad habits that keep us from living a happy and healthy

Am I'm convinced. We were meant to be happy in this life.

Here are some of my photos from my trip.