Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Some Thoughts About Adoption and a New Blog Header

Hello friends.. I hope your week has been extra-ordinary so far!
Most of the time it's not what's happening, but the perspective I take.
Would you agree or disagree?
My life is extra-ordinary.
Any day that I can get out of bed and enjoy my family and
the "everyday" of life,
 it's good and I feel blessed.
I hope you feel blessed, too.
Yesterday was a hard day. I was so tired.
And I had court.
We've been going through this thing with our Charlotte.
She's our adopted, special needs daughter. 
She needs a guardian, but she didn't want us and she'd
like to spread her wings.
Or so she thought three months ago.
It gets really complicated.
Anyway, it's been a process to help her find a safe place.
We found one. Now she's changed her mind.
{She understands what family really is.}
That's pretty profound.
(I'm not sure that I even understand that.)
The judge was speechless at that point.
But he ordered it anyway.
She'll be living in a group home.
Close but not here.
I think back to when we picked up this little bundle from the hospital.
We had many different ideas.
(we didn't know she had developmental challenges)
And dreams of filling this little heart with good things.
Holding her hand through the pilgrimage of
of her journey and questions.
I guess we did that.
As much as we could.
But as a parent, I wanted to help her more.
Get her closer to her place of
It's hard to not take on that feeling of failure.
To shoulder it.
To track back to all the mistakes.
But I know I did my best with what I knew.
We were so unprepared.
She wasn't the only baby bird we took into our nest.
As we watch her fly, she's a little wobbly on the wing.
Though we can't take the wobble out,
we can be here for her when she lands.
And we will be.
It really wasn't my intention to share that.
But it just came out.
Our adoption journey has been a
very diverse one.
It has covered the ground from absolute bliss to
 almost as broken as broken can be.
I would like to share more as time goes on.
Maybe it could help encourage someone or give them clarity.
If you're reading this, and have questions, please feel free to ask.
We've adopted 5.
2 sisters and 3 half brothers.
What were we thinking! :)
With two stepchildren and a birth child on both sides of the adoption,
we were in for
 t h e   r i d e   o f   o u r   l i f e!
\\ that's 9 total in case you're wondering //
I absolutely see adoption as sacred and a privilege.
But not without realities and a high price.
Though I have been a step-mom
an adoptive mom and a
natural mom,
the bottom line is that I've just been called Mom.
About the header..
I really don't like to let tired keep me from productive.
I don't mind rest  I love to rest and movies.. and stuff...
but I can't rest for hours.
So my desperate need to have a header
gave me something to work on.
It was a lot of fun.
I used Picmonkey.
It was easy.
It isn't a perfect representation of my vision.
But I like the colors
and the mix.
 The truth is I'm not a very good designer.
But I did it and it's something.
And I'm learning.
That's valuable.
And even more valuable is that
this self-raised kid is learning to
embrace and be at peace with less
than ideal.
Because I didn't have a guideline, I have set my bar
Can you relate?
Any thoughts on the header??
On adoption?
Have a beautiful, beautiful day friend.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

What Does This Summer Morning Look Like?

 Hello and welcome.
It's a HOT, dry morning here in the southwest.
Our monsoon season just can't seem to get going.
 But it's a beautiful day just the same.
One of the things that I have learned is
that I can allow the things that I can't change
to effect my outlook or I can
use every moment to
make a good day for myself and those
around me.
Every day has a mountain of opportunities to
consider the goodness.
There's so much hope!
I'm awake. I look at the clock. It's too early to get up.
I roll over and wait till some minutes pass.
My thoughts start congregating in my head
and I can't stop them.
I'm not sure what I'll do yet this morning. But I know there's work to be done.
Outside .... early.. before the heat settles  in.
It's 6:00 am.
My body is a little stiff as I swing my legs over and just
get up. I go straight for my slippers because I need my orthotics.
It's that short leg.
I slip my jamas off and step into my usual.
Cut off corduroys and a long sleeved, thrifted,
linen shirt that covers me.
The sun is brutal.
The Merrills and socks are good.
There's no clouds this morning so
I go to the kitchen and fetch my straw
cowboy hat with the lace and a big
brown heart button.
I slip out my sliding screen door and greet the morning.
Wow. I love this time of day.
In the cool, quietness, I'm greeted by the cat.
he wants his food.
We keep it inside at night.
(Just the other night, I heard loud lapping at the water in
the rock that's kept outside the door.
It used to be for the birds but has become for whatever
might need some refreshing in this harsh, dry
mountain, climate.
The lapping was too loud for cats.....different from the dog.
I turned the light on and peeked through the curtain.
It was a big skunk.
It's little feet were perched on the side of that rock
and drinking and drinking.
It's white was so white.
I watched it for a moment, turned the light off and
VERY SLOWLY slid the door shut.
(I was thinking. There's something that's
fulfilling in helping a wild animal
with a basic need.
 And it made me happy.)
So, food inside.
I glance at a clock.. It's time get my special needs daughter up.
 I'm somewhat dreading it. Mornings are hard.
Medication makes her sleepy. She's not happy.
 I have to be positive.
I'll work her through it helping with her clothes...her breakfast..
making sure she has what she needs to go to her program for the day.
All the while praying, wishing that there was something I could do to really help her.
To be realize her dreams of being a firefighter.
Find peace and contentment.
Just keep praying.
God knows.
He loves.
He cares.
He has a plan.
In His time.
there's a little bug looking shyly at me.
Pure sweetness.
Jammied in white cotton all covered with hot air balloons.
One pant leg pulled up and knee showing.
Tight, sunny curls framing her face.
Just dreamy.
Finger in her mouth.
(My granddaughter. She's four.)
Hi Boo.
(Anayah Promise)
And I kneel down and she leans against me and wraps
her little arms around my neck.
 I scoop her up and we just walk  around the house.
Charlotte still isn't up.
I remember that I wanted to try to plant flowers with the girls this morning
before they leave.
Do you want to help Grandma plant some flowers?
She nods.
Out we go to gather all the fun things
to work on our project.
Boo was digging.
Along came Brutus.
The Garden Cat, I call him.
Forever helpful in the way.
But priceless and treasured.

Enjoying the petting...for a time.
Then the swatting begins.
Him not her.

And so I move him...

  (He's baaaack. Overseeing)
She decides that putting the flowers in the holes
is too messy.
But....watering is just right!

Her Mommy is up.
We hear her say,
 "There you are and they both smile."

 Gardener in training.
 I keep it light and easy. Not too long.
Just putting Treasures in the memory box.
Simple pleasures.
I'd love to hear about any part of your day.

Be blessed!
 Tamara XO

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Sentiments and Remembering the 4th With A Simple Patriotic Garden Rag Garland

Happy 4th of July! This holiday has so much meaning.
So much loss.... so much gain.
The lives that were given so that we may live free.
A bunch of my kids are coming and many of the grandkids will be here
as well. I like displaying the colors that represent our freedom
and the signing of the Declaration.
It gives us a chance to display some patriotism
and a means to bring up conversation about
what this day is all about.
Picnics are great fun..
Rodeos for us here in the west..
But I would like this day to be remembered
for it's historical importance as well as
for it's special times with family and friends.
The theme for our parade this year is:
Proud to be an American.
There are many things that can be listed
about our country that make it
less than perfect.
But the 4th ..or "Independence Day" 
is a day to remember the things
that make it a wonderful place to live.
Things that do make us proud to be a part
of this great country.
The things that have happened in history to
allow us the blessings that we enjoy everyday.

 sacrifice..  work.. diligence.. devotion
standing with others
living out convictions
facing fears
pushing through unthinkable obstacles

(Have you ever read the story of George Rogers Clark?)
The name of the book is called:
From Sea to Shining

A truly amazing account of his leadership, sacrifice and
devotion. It also tells the story of his youngest brother, Billy.
Who was William of the Lewis and Clark Expedition. 
And I would like to make it a day for my family
to consider the things that we can do as individuals
and along side of others to make it a better
place for it's tomorrows.

When I think of the what's been done and what
the possibilities are,
I feel so blessed to be a part of it all.

( If you'd like to share inspirational stories, quotes, poems or
other readings about our country, here is a small list of books
where you can find such things.)

~America's God and Country

~Our Sacred Honor

~The Moral Compass

~Favorite Poems Old and New

~The Book of Virtues

And one of our kid's favorite movies is
the old Disney movie Johnny Tremain
and for olders, though it's hard to watch,

This is a very simple project.
Just pick your colors, decide what length will work best,
tear the strips and tie them on.
Great for adding a last minute,
 festive addition to your yard or garden!

Have a blessed, fun and safe weekend!


Some photos of past years..