Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Some Thoughts About Adoption and a New Blog Header

Hello friends.. I hope your week has been extra-ordinary so far!
Most of the time it's not what's happening, but the perspective I take.
Would you agree or disagree?
My life is extra-ordinary.
Any day that I can get out of bed and enjoy my family and
the "everyday" of life,
 it's good and I feel blessed.
I hope you feel blessed, too.
Yesterday was a hard day. I was so tired.
And I had court.
We've been going through this thing with our Charlotte.
She's our adopted, special needs daughter. 
She needs a guardian, but she didn't want us and she'd
like to spread her wings.
Or so she thought three months ago.
It gets really complicated.
Anyway, it's been a process to help her find a safe place.
We found one. Now she's changed her mind.
{She understands what family really is.}
That's pretty profound.
(I'm not sure that I even understand that.)
The judge was speechless at that point.
But he ordered it anyway.
She'll be living in a group home.
Close but not here.
I think back to when we picked up this little bundle from the hospital.
We had many different ideas.
(we didn't know she had developmental challenges)
And dreams of filling this little heart with good things.
Holding her hand through the pilgrimage of
of her journey and questions.
I guess we did that.
As much as we could.
But as a parent, I wanted to help her more.
Get her closer to her place of
It's hard to not take on that feeling of failure.
To shoulder it.
To track back to all the mistakes.
But I know I did my best with what I knew.
We were so unprepared.
She wasn't the only baby bird we took into our nest.
As we watch her fly, she's a little wobbly on the wing.
Though we can't take the wobble out,
we can be here for her when she lands.
And we will be.
It really wasn't my intention to share that.
But it just came out.
Our adoption journey has been a
very diverse one.
It has covered the ground from absolute bliss to
 almost as broken as broken can be.
I would like to share more as time goes on.
Maybe it could help encourage someone or give them clarity.
If you're reading this, and have questions, please feel free to ask.
We've adopted 5.
2 sisters and 3 half brothers.
What were we thinking! :)
With two stepchildren and a birth child on both sides of the adoption,
we were in for
 t h e   r i d e   o f   o u r   l i f e!
\\ that's 9 total in case you're wondering //
I absolutely see adoption as sacred and a privilege.
But not without realities and a high price.
Though I have been a step-mom
an adoptive mom and a
natural mom,
the bottom line is that I've just been called Mom.
About the header..
I really don't like to let tired keep me from productive.
I don't mind rest  I love to rest and movies.. and stuff...
but I can't rest for hours.
So my desperate need to have a header
gave me something to work on.
It was a lot of fun.
I used Picmonkey.
It was easy.
It isn't a perfect representation of my vision.
But I like the colors
and the mix.
 The truth is I'm not a very good designer.
But I did it and it's something.
And I'm learning.
That's valuable.
And even more valuable is that
this self-raised kid is learning to
embrace and be at peace with less
than ideal.
Because I didn't have a guideline, I have set my bar
Can you relate?
Any thoughts on the header??
On adoption?
Have a beautiful, beautiful day friend.

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