I hope this day finds you inspired and at peace.
Today, I'd like to share some thoughts and
revelations that have been on my heart for some time.
I call this my journey.. my quest.
I have been blogging/journaling
about it because someday, I may want
to re-trace my steps or share.
This involves many aspects of my life.
There are the personal parts that
involve my own discoveries about myself
and how I have lost layer after layer
to get to who I really am.
Finding my heart.
Silencing the noise.
Unloading the clutter.
And it's also about:
I hope that you don't mind my sharing.
(I guess that's partly why I title it like I do.
So readers can filter.)
I must say though that I find such inspiration
and feel a real connection when people
share their stories.
Sometimes, they can be
gritty and raw.
I like raw.
Raw is real.
And real is authentic.
It's where we live and learn.
This part of my journey has been difficult.
This has been a choice.
And a hard one.
sometimes often times it's necessary to
make hard choices to get you where you
want to go and it's wise to count the cost.
I'm not trying to be mysterious.
It's just difficult for me and it pricks my heart
and brings tears when I think of it.
I have had to begin guarding my time very
carefully in order to
protect it from being whittled away.
Please don't get me wrong,
I love people and doing what I'm able to
help ease their burdens.
And just spending time with people.
(With Quality Time being
my first Love Language,
cutting my time with others
has been very difficult!)
However, sometimes it can be
unhealthy for others and yourself
if expectations and motives are out of balance.
Recently I have begun to notice that
after hours of phone calls and texting and
visits that there is very little...and I mean
VERY little time to work at what
God has put in my heart to build on and work at.
IF YOU DON'T
BUILD YOUR DREAMS,
SOMEONE WILL HIRE YOU
TO BUILD THEIRS.
Why I do what I do.
And here is the not-so-fun part of sharing.
I can be very insecure.
And so sometimes I do things for people
because it feels safe. Then I will be liked.
Or it makes me look good or if I am helping someone
else, surely that makes me a good person.
Or maybe I wouldn't be liked, if I said no.
(And unfortunately, the latter has happened.)
It's been very enlightening and freeing
to work through all of that.
Facing my own insecurities.
The anger and disappointment of others.
Sometimes it can be very lonely.
But the quiet is what I need to focus and create.
Some understand and respect the need for
time and space and it's beautiful when that happens.
It's been a matter of serious consideration,
getting over feelings of extreme guilt and feeling
selfish because I have had to begin to say..
I'm sorry.. I can't right now.
(And it's not easy because I really do care.)
At times, it's not even people asking.
My personality is that of a nurturer
and so it's been a combination of
wanting to and feeling obligated.
In order to guard the time that I have to study, learn
and create, I have had to consider my motives for and
commitments to others very carefully.
Being very sensitive but paring down.
Anyone who wants to dedicate time to learning and
creating knows that it takes a lot of time of focusing
and hard work!
THE ARTIST IS NOTHING
WITHOUT THE GIFT
BUT THE GIFT IS NOTHING
WITHOUT THE WORK.
I am happy to say that the most difficult part of this
journey is past. I have come to a place where I can
give time to people in a more pure and balanced way.
My husband and I talk a lot about these kinds of things.
And one of the things that I want desperately for my
children to get is to be wise in their decisions.
If you have dreams, and most people do, be careful
not to create a life that locks you into spending
most of your time doing what you HAVE to do,
instead of what you want to do.
Those have-tos can be created
very easily and it's SO very difficult to
then carve out time for your...
Some people spend literally hours every day
working at what they love and pursuing their dreams
and goals. I would have been very grateful as a young adult
to have these nuggets of truth safely tucked away
in my treasure chest of wisdom.
But I know as I have said before,
~I can TRUST GOD with the
TIMING of MY LIFE. ~
I do so hope that this has been encouraging to you
today. I hope the rest of your week is filled with peace
As always, I'm grateful for your visit here.