Wednesday, May 3, 2017

The Decision to Take Care of Ourselves And Then.... the Journey

Taking care of oneself may seem like a 
natural and easy thing to do for some. 
And having to make a conscious decision 
to do so may seem ridiculous.

(I'm talking about much more than 
just the basics of
 eating and sleeping and general care.)

But for others, including myself, 
it truly is a journey of
self-discovery and recovery. 
It's a learning process
that happens only if we are 
willing to peel off layers
of wrong thinking, work at
 getting to know ourselves
as well as making changes.
It would take a small book to share
with you the revelations that have come from 
seeking to take better care of  myself..
well-being and a healthier,
more balanced lifestyle.

I used to think that I was healthy.
Several years ago, I came to a place in my life
where I felt numb. I had died inside
and I knew that if I wanted my 
life to be different,
I was going to have to accept boundaries
and live more intentionally.
(I don't mean to sound snooty)
I needed to begin to stand up for myself
and stop making commitments that were
helpful to others but that left me feeling exhausted
and drained physically and mentally.

This was difficult because I love people and
helping them.  But I had to come to realize that
I could still love them but I didn't have to
push myself beyond healthy limits to show that love.
I was saying no to outside commitments at times and
that was good but I wasn't considering limiting
 social outings or time with family as part 
of my care. 

Two years ago, I realized what a 
true introvert was and that I am one and that
it's ok to be one! Haha..

And furthermore, it was ok to fashion my time and 
life in a way that allowed me the solitude that 
I needed to stay rested and to feel like 
my life was not out of control. 
I don't LIKE this about myself but I'm 
grateful to have the understanding.

It's so freeing to be able to make 
decisions based on my needs 
without (most of the time ;) feeling guilty.

Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?
I have learned that I'm not selfish but wise
when I say no to invitations to social events.
Not answering the phone is ok if I'm not up to talking
at that moment. Responding to social media in 
a time frame when I feel rested and can enjoy the
connection is the right way for me.
Learning to listen to our minds and bodies 
and to be able to respond to what we hear, is a gift. 
It requires focus at times and honesty
with ourselves and others.  
People don't always understand. 
My test run circumstance did not end well.
There were broken relationships
and a severing of ties.
It's very sad but I am healthier.

Be prepared and take care of yourself anyway.
If you don't, who will?

This is one of the 
toughest parts of our journey. We don't
want to offend or hurt others. There are always
going to be needs. We can't begin to meet them all.

I was raised to work.
And the harder I worked and the more I accomplished,
the more I was praised. I can tell you that this
set me up for a life time of pleasing others
and totally losing touch with who I was 
or what my needs (and wants) were.
I don't dread telling people no anymore. It
feels good to take care of myself. I enjoy life
soooo much more. The quality
of each experience has been heightened
to the pleasure that it should be because
I have learned to pace myself and reserve what I need
to really be present and enjoy that time. Not wishing that the time
were over so that I can go home and rest.

If you're in need, I hope this has helped 
and made sense to you.
Life is too short and our bodies and minds
have limitations. If we ignore this fact, 
we can do irreversible damage to our bodies
and lose out on the quality of 
life that awaits 
each of us.
There's so much more to it all. 
But too much to write in one post. 
At another time, I would like to write
about the things that we have and how they
demand of us.

(This is a huge one for me and I'm still working on it!

And then beyond our needs are our wants... 
which I would also like to write about another time.)

We have only one life to live.
One time around.
A limited existence with so much to experience.
May yours be blessed. 
Filled with richness and peace.

Thank you for your visit.
I would love to hear any words of advice or 
any stories of what you've learned.

Tamara xo

1 comment:

Junkchiccottage said...

Bravo Tamara for being truthful to yourself. That is a very hard thing to do. I think most of us women and mothers are wired to nurture and take care of others so to say no is not in our DNA. That is wonderful that you can see that and have been able to master the art of saying No and understanding you are still a great person with an open and helpful heart for others. Loving yourself first lets us truly love others in a healthy and loving way. I have learned through a lot of things on my life journey these last few years that you must take time to listen to your own body. Sometimes when things are stressful and moving quickly it is hard to listen to your own bodies, heart and minds. When I stop and not dwell on the stress and look at the blessings and gravitate towards the things that make me feel lighter and happier it makes you feel more energy and happiness. Good for you on finding boundaries for yourself. Happy Thursday my friend.